


I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

by StoatsandWeasels



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Loss of Parent(s), Minor Character Death, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoatsandWeasels/pseuds/StoatsandWeasels
Summary: AU: InuYasha mourns a loss, contemplates his future, and reconnects with someone from his past.





	I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want to upset anyone, so please be advised, there is a lot of talk about death and dying in this fic. Also those with delicate sensibilities should note the rating. 
> 
> I found this forgotten story on my drive just a few days ago. I had written it well over a year ago but couldn't muster the courage to post, as I was a little too emotionally invested in it at the time. 
> 
> Hope everyone's new year is off to a great start. Have a glorious day.
> 
> -Stoats

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha.

 

* * *

 

" _...The smallest sprout shows there is really no death, and if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it, and ceas'd the moment life appeared. All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses, and to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier. _ "

 

A loud crack of thunder punctuated the poetic eulogy, and sent all the funeral attendees jolting in surprise under the sea of black umbrellas. 

 

_ A good omen…that's what she'd say.  _ InuYasha thought to himself as he gazed over the ridiculously expensive spray of white roses that adorned the oak box that held the body of his mother. 

 

Although he couldn't quite remember  _ what _ , exactly, the omen meant, he knew that it was something good. His mother had told him as much on a similar day almost twenty-five years ago, the last time he'd stood in this very same spot. He was only a child then, not even old enough to understand the mechanics of death, let alone the finality of it. 

 

He remembered crying, not because his father was dead, but because his inability to resist jumping into a puddle had resulted in shoes that were soggy and uncomfortable. He remembered his mother lifting him up in her arms and telling him not to curse the rain, because it was a good omen. Still, he cried over the rain that day, because he was four years old, and rain was a simple thing. It caused his shoes to rub blisters on his feet, which caused physical pain, and that was a concept even his young brain could comprehend. Emotional pain was something he wouldn't fully grasp until a few years later. 

 

He wouldn't cry on this day, though. Not for the rain, and not for his mother either. It wasn't because he didn't love her. Quite the contrary, it was because he'd already had ample time to mourn her loss. She'd been lost to him for a while now. He'd grown so weary of watching her suffer that the relief of her death made him feel something akin to joy. When he'd heard the last wet, rattling breath leave her dry, cracked lips it was almost as though the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders in that moment of profound silence. By that time it had been two days since she'd last opened her eyes and almost six weeks since she'd recognized his face or called him by name. 

 

He listened as an unfamiliar person gave the eulogy. His sing-songy tenor voice—which was something InuYasha would have likely found annoying in any other setting—seemed oddly fitting to this scene. It even fit the weather, somehow. His only previous interaction with this man had been earlier that morning—a friendly squeeze to the shoulder and an obligatory " _ Sorry for your loss _ " or " _ Your mother was a great woman _ ". He couldn't remember which phrase the man had chosen to say. He'd heard both phrases so many times in the last few hours that they'd bled together and practically lost all meaning aside from the underlying sympathetic thought. 

 

He was grateful  _ now _ that his mother had had the foresight to prearrange her funeral when she'd learned of her bleak prognosis. She'd asked him to accompany her to make the arrangements and he had furiously refused. At the time he'd scolded her. He'd told her that it was morbid, and accused her of giving up. He'd later apologized, after realizing that she was only being realistic, accepting her fate, and that he'd been the one in denial. She'd known her fate longer than he had, and had already spent her time alone with the first four stages of grief, and had arrived soundly at the fifth before breaking the news to her son. He himself finally reached acceptance on the day he walked into her hospital room, and her eyes met his without an ounce of recognition. But by that time she had long since completed the difficult task of arranging her own funeral, and because of his cowardice she had done it alone. He knew she didn't hold it against him, but he held it against himself. The regret he'd always feel would be punishment enough and he'd accept it graciously.

 

_    "I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love, If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles. You will hardly know who I am or what I mean, But I shall be good health to you nevertheless, and filter and fibre your blood. Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged, Missing me one place search another, I stop somewhere waiting for you." _

 

InuYasha was so lost in thought, and oddly detached, that he didn't even realize the service had ended until he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. "You okay?" came a familiar voice.

 

He turned to find his best friend looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

 

"I'm fine. Just ready to get the hell out of here." InuYasha stood and turned away from the casket, toward the quietly mingling crowd of people. He knew he was probably expected to show some attachment to that box—to the corpse inside of it. But that  _ wasn't _ his mother, just like the body that rested six feet beneath them wasn't his father. 

 

As the rain finally ceased, and the umbrellas began to close, he could now see more clearly the solemn sea of mostly unfamiliar faces. Parents of children who'd been students in his mother's classroom when she'd announced her retirement from teaching just five months ago; men and women, some older than himself, some younger, who were once those very same children learning under her tutelage. All lives influenced by her, his mother. He hoped that in time the years of good memories would wash out the harrowing memories of her final days. He was terrified that his happy memories of this mother would be forever marred by the ugliness of death, and was at least thankful that no one else who knew her would be haunted by those memories. 

 

Memories of something that was never supposed to happen. She was supposed to grow old and pass away peacefully in her sleep. That's how InuYasha had always thought it would happen. That was the plan. 

 

But life is cruel and unfair, and tends to make its own plans without regarding yours.

 

So he'd had to watch his mother live out his personal greatest fear. The fear of having no control over one's own fate; being stripped of every last shred of dignity by the cruel, unforgiving hands of disease and death. He'd been subjected to the torture of not only seeing her suffer, but seeing what he was convinced would be his own future. He felt selfish for worrying about such a thing, today of all days. While he—for the time being, anyway—stood alive and healthy as his mother lay cold and dead in the grave. 

 

His mother, who used to tell him that everything happens for a reason. That something good—no matter how small—would come from every bad situation. 

 

But what good could ever come from this? InuYasha was sure he'd never know.

 

"Do I have to talk to all these people?" he asked his friend, nodding towards the crowd.

 

"No. Not all of them." Miroku shook his his head. "Maybe just the ones you know."

 

_ So no one, then…  _ InuYasha thought as his eyes perused the cemetery grounds again seeking some recognition. Aside from his half-brother, he saw only one other person he recognized, Miroku's wife. "I'll say hello to Sango, then I'm gone."

 

"Okay," Miroku said, giving InuYasha a firm pat on the back. "Text me if you want to get a drink later or something."

 

"Don't count on it."

 

Miroku chuckled at his friends candor. "I'll talk to you later."

 

"See ya," InuYasha said as he turned and headed in the direction he'd last seen his friend's wife.

 

Quickly he spotted her, standing near the edge of the crowd, engaged in deep conversation with another woman who stood across from her, facing away from him.

 

"Hey you," Sango greeted him over the other woman's shoulder as he approached her. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "How are you doing?"

 

"Tired," he answered her honestly as he returned the hug.

 

"I never thought I'd see the day when you would admit such a thing," she teased as she stroked her hands over his back before releasing him from her arms. 

 

"A testament to how fucking tired I really am."

 

Sango chuckled. "Hey, you remember Kagome, right?" she said casually, pointing to the dark haired woman she'd previously been talking to.

 

"Kagome?" InuYasha said, stunned as he turned to get a better look at the woman Sango had previously been conversing with.

 

Of course.  _ Of course _ he remembered Kagome. How could he ever forget…?

 

"Hi, InuYasha," she greeted him timidly. He found it difficult to make direct contact with her big glossy brown eyes, so full of sympathy. Just when he thought he'd become calloused to all the sympathetic expressions  _ she _ came along and grated his heart raw with a single look. "I was so sorry to hear about your mom. She was such a wonderful person."

 

"Thanks," was all he managed in reply. He was having trouble coming up with a more thoughtful response, being so caught off guard by the sight of her: his first love, his first kiss, his first  _ everything _ … The one that got away. The one that set the bar impossibly high, then walked out of his life. The one he'd been trying to forget for the last ten years.  _ That one. _

 

Her voice sounded different to him, although it was probably exactly the same, he'd just forgotten what it sounded like. He'd thought he would never forget a single thing about her. The sound of her voice, her laugh, the scent of her shampoo. How she preferred white chocolate over dark, or liked her orange juice full of pulp; the way she would twirl a strand of her hair around her finger when she was nervous, or how her hands were always cold, even in the summertime. 

 

"I'm going to go find Miroku," Sango said, giving InuYasha's arm a squeeze. "Give us a call if you need anything."

 

He responded with a nod, and watched as Sango and Kagome said their goodbyes and exchanged numbers before Sango disappeared into the crowd.    
  
"So, how have you been?" Kagome asked, her left hand rising to twirl a lock of hair at her shoulder. "I mean...besides  _ this _ …" She motioned to their surroundings with her right. "I mean…" she grimaced. " _ Obviously _ you aren't having the best day  _ today, _ I just meant…" She squeezed her eyes shut and slapped her free hand against her forehead. "Gosh. I should really just stop talking now..."

 

He smiled at her and asked, "Am I making you nervous?"

 

"No." She dropped the hand from her face and gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm just not great in these kinds of situations."

 

"Yeah. Me neither. I was just about to leave, actually."

 

"Oh…" she said, seeming to deflate in disappointment. "well, I won't hold you up, but I'd love it if...if maybe we could get together and catch up sometime." 

 

"How 'bout now?" InuYasha quickly suggested and immediately he cursed his eagerness, but this felt urgent. Like the rush you feel when racing toward the last train of the night and slipping in just as the doors are closing. It was  _ urgent _ . 

 

"Now?" she questioned, turning her head and scanning over the crowd. "Now as in  _ right _ now? Today? Are you sure you feel up to it?"

 

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," he said matter-of-factly.

 

She gave him a small snort of laughter. "Okay, then. What did you have in mind?"

 

He looked at his watch. "Is three o'clock too early to start drinking?"

 

Kagome smiled and responded with, "I think you have a free pass today. Do you mind if I ride with you? I took a cab here, so..."

 

He nodded. "Yeah, c'mon," he said, taking her hand in his without thinking and cursing his forwardness, although he didn't let go. It just felt like the natural thing to do, as if it had been merely a day, as opposed to the  _ ten years _ it had actually been since he'd seen her last. "Where do you wanna go?"

 

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. Where would you like to go?"

 

He contemplated for a moment. There was only one place he really felt up to going right now. "It won't hurt my feelings if you say no, but do you wanna just...go back to my place?" he finished hesitantly as he approached his car and opened the door for her. 

 

Immediately he realized how the suggestion must have come across and he was mentally kicking himself while simultaneously trying to think of a proper way to amend his offer when, after only about three seconds Kagome gave a tiny shrug and answered. "Sure," before ducking into the passenger's seat. 

 

InuYasha stood, slightly stunned, as he processed her answer. He'd expected, at the very least, that she would question his motives, possibly even turn him down outright. That he would have to explain he had no ulterior motives, and that he only thought it would be more comfortable to talk in the privacy of his home. The fact that she had accepted without question, and with very little hesitation, had his head spinning. He hadn't even planned on seeing her today, let alone having her over to his house. His offer was completely innocent. He was only asking that they spend some time catching up, but did she know that? He was fully aware of what the offer might have implied. 

 

Was it possible that she just accepted an offer to have sex with him?

 

InuYasha shook his head of the thought as he closed the car door and slowly made his way around to the drivers side.  _ No. There's no way… _ he reasoned with himself.  _ And even if she was, there is no way I'd take advantage of her like that.  _

 

Briefly he considered making his offer more clear, but he wasn't even sure they were on the same page, and to avoid sounding presumptuous he decided against it.

 

But if she really wanted to be with him, and it wasn't just pity sex…

 

InuYasha sighed and shook his head.  _ God, what would my mother think if she knew I was even considering such a thing. _ For a moment he felt guilty for having such a thought, but only for a moment, and then the moment passed as he entered the car and glanced over to her, meeting her eyes as she smiled back at him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. 

 

And his mother always  _ did  _ really love Kagome, after all...

 

For the last decade he'd thought often about what he'd say to her if he ever saw her again. He'd laid awake countless nights thinking about how the conversation would unfold. He'd ask her why she left the way she did. He'd tell her what a selfish person she was. He'd tell her he was angry, and that he'd never forgive her for the pain she caused him. He was really gonna let her have it...

 

But now that the opportunity was finally here, all he could seem to think about was how pink her lips were, and how badly he wanted to kiss them. That alone made him even more angry with himself than he'd ever been with her.

 

Distracting himself before he did something truly idiotic, he started the car, backing out of his parking space and heading for the street. "Do you care if I smoke?" he asked her as he drew a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket. 

 

She gave a little shrug of indifference, and quite unenthusiastically answered with, "It's your car."

 

He nodded as he eagerly pulled a cigarette from the pack, placing it between his lips and taking a long drag as he lit it. He cracked his window as he released the smoke from his lungs. 

 

"That's really bad for you, you know," Kagome commented.

 

"Really?" InuYasha said, feigning surprise. "I had no idea. No one's ever told me that before," he said in a tone heavily laced with sarcasm. 

 

Kagome rolled her eyes and turned to look out the window at the passing scenery. "I'm just showing a little concern for your well-being." 

 

"Well, I've never quit anything in my life, and I ain't about to start now. I ain't a quitter," he half-joked. 

 

Kagome chuckled and shook her head. "That's some pretty self-indulgent logic."

 

InuYasha shrugged as he took another drag of the cigarette. "What other kind of logic is there?" he asked before exhaling. 

 

"When it comes to those things" she pointed to the cigarette in his hand and wrinkled her nose in distaste, "there is no other logic."

 

The two of them mostly just made small talk on the trip, most of the talking being done by Kagome while InuYasha chain-smoked right up to his front door. 

 

As they entered his house he made his way toward the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked.

 

"What do you have?" Kagome asked as she stepped out of her heels. 

 

"Water, coffee, tea, beer, whiskey...probably have wine around here somewhere, but it won't be cold," he called over his shoulder as he removed his suit jacket and tie, draping them over the back of a dining chair.

 

"Coffee's fine," she answered as she took a seat on the sofa and waited for him.

 

He removed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet, pouring himself a drink before starting the coffee. When he returned he handed her the coffee and settled down next to her on the couch, bringing both his glass, and the half full bottle of whiskey with him to the coffee table. 

 

"Thanks," Kagome said as she accepted the mug. 

 

"You're welcome," he responded before finishing off the remainder of his drink and pouring another. 

 

A heavy and awkward silence hung in the room.

 

"So, this is where you live…?" Kagome said in a lame attempt to strike up conversation.

 

"Uh, yeah."

 

"Do you like it?"

 

"Sure," InuYasha shrugged. "It's a house."

 

More silence.

 

"How long have you lived here?"

 

"About two years."

 

She looked around the room, nodding slowly. "It's nice. Do you rent?"

 

"No, I bought it."

 

More silence.

 

Kagome took a sip of her coffee and turned to look out the bay window that faced toward the street. It was beginning to rain again, and she watched the grey clouds roll across the sky as droplets began to splatter across the glass. "Nasty day," she commented.

 

"Can I be perfectly honest with you, Kagome?" InuYasha suddenly broke from his thoughts, not appearing to take an interest in her weather commentary. He'd been trying to figure out the most delicate way to bring up the elephant in the room, and ultimately decided that there really was no more delicate way than to just spit it out.

 

She turned to him, looking surprised at his forceful tone as he took charge of the conversation. "Of course you can."

 

He turned and looked her square in the eyes before matter-of-factly stating, "I'm mad at you."

 

Kagome furrowed her brow in confusion. "Mad? What for?"

 

So apparently she wasn't living ten years in the past like he was, but oh well. He needed to get this off his chest, even if the outcome was humiliation and heartbreak. 

 

"Just...for just casting me off. I mean," he shook his head in frustration. "I understand why you broke up with me. Really, I do. The long distance thing would have been hard, and I know high school relationships almost never last past high school, but…" he paused, taking in a deep breath. "I don't know. I guess...maybe I just thought what we had was more than what it was, but I thought we'd at  _ least _ keep in contact and stay friends, but then you just cut me out of your life. I tried calling you a few times, but you never answered or called back…" He looked up to face to find a look of surprise, and some emotion that he hoped wasn't sympathy, although it looked a lot like it. "You probably think I'm  _ pathetic _ for still thinking about this after all this time, but...I always wanted to know what I did. If I did something to piss you off, or make you hate me, or-"

 

"That wasn't it," Kagome interjected, and though her voice was low, it was forceful, and it compelled InuYasha to stop and listen. "That wasn't it at all."

 

"Then what was it?" he asked desperately. 

 

"I was homesick. I was in an unfamiliar place, I didn't know anyone, and I missed you like  _ crazy _ ...if I would have talked to you I  _ know _ what would have happened. I'd have starting crying for you to come get me the second I heard your voice."

 

"And I'd have been on the next bus out," InuYasha added with a mirthless chuckle. 

 

"Yes...you would have." She smiled and slipped her hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "InuYasha, breaking up with you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it was something I  _ had _ to do. At that time my focus needed to be on school, and if I would have left an opening, I know I would have dropped out and chosen you in a second."

 

"So what about after you graduated? You knew where to find me."

 

She shrugged. "I thought about it...well...actually, if I'm being perfectly honest I  _ did _ ask around about you, and-"

 

"I was dating someone else," he finished for her, realizing what she was about to say.

 

She chuckled. "Yeah. I guess I just didn't want to cause any trouble for you. It was a shot in the dark anyway. By that time I thought for sure you would've moved on and forgotten about me."

 

He heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, I  _ hadn't _ , just so you know...as if I ever  _ would _ ," he said with a smirk, returning the squeeze to her hand before releasing it. "So what are you doing these days?" 

 

"These days I'm teaching at the university, working on getting my PhD," she answered as she relaxed back into the couch cushions. "What about you?"

 

"Computer software development. Although for the past six months taking care of mom has been like a full time job...more like my whole life, really. It's gonna be so weird to go back to a normal routine…Yesterday I drove all the way to the hospital on my lunch break before I even remembered that she wasn't there anymore."

 

"You should take a vacation," Kagome suggested.

 

"Can't. I've already used up all my personal leave for the whole year."

 

"Oh...well…maybe-"

 

"It's fine," he assured her. "I don't need a vacation. Just having some free time is gonna feel like a vacation," he said before draining his glass for a second time.

 

Or was it the third time? He couldn't remember and he had a feeling Kagome was wondering the same as she watched him carefully pour another. 

 

"Want some?" he asked, holding the bottle toward her.

 

She took the bottle from his hand and poured a small amount into her coffee. "Just a little."

 

"Livin' on the edge," he teased.

 

She giggled. "You better not be trying to get me drunk."

 

"Oh no, I'd never do that! I remember what a sloppy drunk you are," he said teasingly.

 

"Hey! I'm not a seventeen-year-old anymore I'll have you know!" she protested.

 

"Yeah, and this isn't green apple flavored vodka," he added and Kagome faked a gag before they both burst out laughing. 

 

"We thought we were so cool," Kagome said wistfully, shaking her head before their chuckles dwindled down to silence once again.

 

"You know," InuYasha said after a few moments of quiet contemplation. "It's kind of liberating in a way, knowing I'm probably gonna die young. Sorta makes me wanna burn the candle at both ends, you know what I mean?" he mused as he brought his glass to his lips, throwing his head back and downing the amber liquid.

 

"I'm not sure I do." She shook her head slowly.

 

"I mean, it'll be me one day... I'll be the one lying in a hospital bed with a tube down my throat, shitting myself, completely out of my mind, not knowing who anyone is or what the hell is going on." 

 

"And why do you think that?" she said with a furrowed brow and a marked frown.

 

"Because, it's  _ hereditary _ . That's what the doctors said." He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the coffee table and poured himself another drink.

 

"That's not a guarantee that you'll get it too."

 

"No, but add to that the fact that my dad died of lung cancer in his forties when he never even touched a cigarette in his life, and I think my chances are pretty goddamn good."

 

"Well, that's not a very good attitude to have," Kagome said as she watched him sip what was  _ at least _ his fourth drink in less than a half hour. The fact that he hadn't even begun to show a hint of intoxication a fairly good indicator that this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. "You could live to be a hundred, I could get hit by a bus on my way home tonight. Anyone could die at any time.  _ Anyone _ could justify being impulsive and reckless if they used that reasoning. Everyone dies, it's not a valid excuse for making poor decisions."

 

"Yeah, but I pretty much have a guarantee."

 

" _ Everyone _ has that guarantee, InuYasha, that's exactly what I'm saying! You're just looking for a lame excuse to feel sorry for yourself and justify being self-indulgent."

 

He sat his half-empty glass on the table and turned to face her, resting his elbow on the back of the sofa and smiling at her.    
  


"What?" she eyed him suspiciously. "What are you smiling about?"

 

He shook his head. "Nothing. You just haven't changed a bit. All this time and you're still the same old Kagome, trying to bring out the best in everybody."

 

"And that's a bad thing?"

 

"No. It's a good thing," he said with a subdued grin. "It's the thing I love most about you."

 

Kagome smiled. "Listen...for what it's worth, InuYasha, I'm sorry...for everything. I've thought about it a lot over the years and I didn't handle things in the best way. I shouldn't have shut you out without an explanation. You deserved better than that."

 

"It's really okay, Kagome. We were just kids back then."

 

She chuckled. "Yeah, but we didn't think we were kids."

 

"No." He shook his head. "We didn't, but we were."

 

She nodded, looking down at her coffee mug before placing it on the table. "Well, we're not kids anymore," she said, taking on a serious tone as she turned back to him.

 

"No…" he agreed. "We're not."

 

The two of them sat there for a moment, eyes locked, wondering what the other was thinking; both thinking the same thing.

 

"Are you still mad at me?"

 

"No."

 

"Would you be mad if I kissed you?" she added with a confidence InuYasha envied.

 

"No."

 

At that, she leaned forward and closed her eyes as her lips met his. The kiss started out soft, the delicate press of her lips against his. InuYasha carefully reciprocated, waiting for her to set the pace, which quickly escalated into something more heated and demanding. As her tongue tentatively slid past his lips, Kagome started to edge closer to him, but he took charge of the movement, slipping a hand around her waist and swiftly pulling her flush against his chest.

 

"Mmm..." she hummed as their lips parted, noses still touching. "I missed you."

 

"Kagome," he responded, and as if lost for words he dove back in to the kiss. One hand threaded into her hair as the other pulled her onto his lap, straddling his hips, and held her so tight as if he feared  at any second she might fly away.

 

As their kisses continued to intensify, InuYasha felt her small hands moving against his chest and he parted his lips from hers to look down and find that her nimble fingers had worked open half the buttons on his shirt without him even noticing. "Kagome," he said again, clasping both her hands in his own and halting their progress. "Don't."

 

"Why?" she asked him.

 

"You don't have to do this."

 

"I want this," she whispered, grinding her hips against his, and  _ oh God _ . She was making it incredibly difficult to do the right thing.

 

InuYasha let out a pained sounding groan. "Kagome," he said her name again, dropping his head against her shoulder and she smelled like fresh ginger and sweet pears and he was sure that denying her was going to kill him. "I…my judgement is impaired..."

 

"Is that true?" 

 

Dammit, she knew him too well.

 

"No." 

 

"Then why did you say it?"

 

He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "I want to do right by you. I don't want to take advantage of your sympathy."

 

"I'm not doing this out of sympathy, InuYasha, I'm doing this because I want you to make love to me," she said succinctly as she snaked her hands inside his shirt, against his bare chest and swooped back in to kiss him fiercely, and this time he didn't try to stop her. That feeling of urgency he'd felt when he'd first seen her at the cemetery was back. This was crazy and reckless and maybe even a huge mistake, but so what if it was? What did either of them have to lose that wasn't already thought lost no more than an hour ago? 

 

In a flurry of limbs all the obstructive articles of their clothing were cast to the floor piece by piece, and he was sure that not every item made it there intact, but that was the least of his concern at this moment as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him, reaching down between them with his free hand to hold himself steady and align himself with her. 

 

They both let out a tandem sigh of satisfaction as she relaxed her legs and lowered herself onto him, allowing gravity to do the work as she accepted all of him into her body, inch by inch. Feeling her tight grasp on him—like his body was made and moulded specifically for hers—it was a feeling so familiar he would always remember, no matter how much time passed.

 

Thankfully he was too lost to the moment to be embarrassed about the fact that his pants were still around his ankles, and her skirt still bunched around her waist like they were a couple of fumbling teenagers. But something in his heart told him that this was  _ right _ , and when he was with her that is exactly what he was. An awkward boy who's entire world revolved around one girl.

 

This one girl who was no doubt currently wondering why he was just sitting there daydreaming while she did all the work.

 

Shaking himself out of his musings, InuYasha grabbed her waist and gave a sharp thrust up into her. In response she let out a squeak before smiling and saying, "There you are. I thought I'd lost you there for a second."

 

"You'll never lose me again, Kagome," he said, planting his feet firmly on the floor as his hands slid down her sides to clutch at her hips, rocking her against him at a steady pace. "As long as I breathe you'll never lose me again." And he'd heard it said many times before that promises made during sex didn't count, but goddammit this one did.

 

From that point on the only sounds he made were the warm puffs of breath that erratically escaped his nostrils against the side of her throat. Neither one spoke except for the few whispered encouragements that nearly unconsciously fell from her lips until they both collapsed in a heap after reaching their peaks together.

 

"I'm sorry," InuYasha whispered into her hair when he finally regained his breath.

 

"You are?" she questioned him.

 

"No, not really. Are you?"

 

"No. Not at all."

 

"I just don't want you to think that this is why I invited you here…" he explained, "'cause it's not."

 

"I don't think that," she assured him as she used her hand to brush his hair back from his sweaty forehead.

 

"Not even when I first asked?"

 

She hesitated for a moment, then admitted with a smile, "Well, I can't say it didn't cross my mind."

 

His brows rose in surprise as rested his head back against the couch cushion. "But you still agreed?"

 

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

 

" _ Why? _ "

 

"Why do you think?" she asked with a giggle. 

 

He smiled lazily as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "I think it crossed my mind too." 

 

"I was so nervous this morning I almost didn't come. But I...when I heard about your mother I just had to see you, InuYasha...to see that you were okay, even though I didn't know what to expect. I was so scared of seeing you with a wife, kids...I didn't know," she said, shaking her head, "but I just had to see you, even if it was for the last time."

 

InuYasha said nothing in response, only showered her face with kisses, trailing down her throat until she relaxed against his shoulder and let out a contented sigh. 

 

He could tell that she was tired, but before she could doze off he lifted her to her feet, put his pants back on, scooped her back up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom where she removed the remaining articles of her clothing and crawled into the cool sheets. "Are you going to join me?" she asked sleepily, yawning as she reached out to him.

 

"Ten minutes," he said and Kagome gave him a little knowing pout. "I'll quit," he added, "I  _ promise _ . Just...not today."

 

"Okay," she said understandingly. "But I'm going to hold you to that." 

 

And that was good. Holding him to his promises meant she was planning on sticking around, and there wasn't a promise in the world he wasn't willing to make to keep her.

 

When he returned to the bed ten minutes later she was already fast asleep, and for a moment before joining her, he just stood and watched how the changing light of the setting sun lit her skin. For the first time in a long time his thoughts were about the future and not the past. He couldn't believe she was really here with him. His mother would be ecstatic, and he so wished he could call her and tell her. 

 

But who knows? Maybe she already knew. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
